Nothing flashy, sparkly, huge, or any other grandiose descriptors; not even the superlative type can capture the simplicity yet magic of this small box with its colourful contents. There are 18 tiny wooden blocks – 4 purple, 4 blue, 4 green, 4 red, 2 yellow – 4 different sizes of rectangular prisms, perfectly nestled in a 10 x 5 x 2 centimetres, well-worn cardboard box with a partial lid. Over the years, the blocks, along with the box, travelled near and far with my two children. Despite hours of focused enjoyment while constructing themselves, problem-solving, designing, ordering, and often while waiting for something, not a single block went astray. These blocks were considered precious, treated with the utmost care and respect, and every effort was made to avoid losing any of them. Although there were times when my son Mark was under a table in the restaurant, prying a small green square block off a sticky floor, or Emma squeezed between two banquette seats to retrieve a tiny yellow one. These special blocks were reserved for when we were out, and my children craved something to do to pass the time.
Once we arrived at a restaurant, my young and later older children knew that the otherwise hidden-away tiny box of blocks would come out when they asked for them. The open-ended nature and beautiful wooden surface, shapes, and colours kept them engaged until their order arrived at the table. This was before tablets or cell phones, and building or organising these blocks occupied them for quite a while, sometimes so much that they didn’t want to put them away and leave, preferring to keep playing with them. As they got older, they chose to do some of the designs included, which reminded me of block versions of tangrams. The children knew that when they were packed back into their box, they would remain there until the next time we were out somewhere and needed to wait, or visiting a restaurant, and we did not go often! These beautiful, simple blocks held a magic spell over my children and enthralled them entirely.
I write about these magic blocks because they offered my children a way into experiencing other environments and people. Could something similar, simple, open-ended and beautiful give other children something precious that is reserved for certain situations? Recently, I heard a father say he would never take his children out to a restaurant again because they couldn’t manage the situation. As in one of my previous posts, I believe this is an example of the value of preparing most children for an unknown experience, and of having something like the Magic Blocks that suitably engages them rather than entertains them. For most children, a placement that lets them colour with 2 or 3 crayons isn’t enough and bribing them with a junky toy from the restaurant isn’t ideal. Ideally, we should avoid the lure of a screen that stifles agency, simply entertaining and addicting our children rather than engaging with something tangible.
Experiencing a variety of situations and environments is essential for a child’s social development. But when these experiences differ from what they regularly encounter and what is normal in their lives, helping them know what to expect and enjoy a positive experience benefits everyone. The experience might include exceptional food, such as a treat they can enjoy only once, or something interesting to see. But running around the restaurant or waiting room should likely not be an option; helping them learn this and the self-regulation required to support their development should be. It can be dangerous, allowing a child to trip and hurt themselves as well as servers or other people in the environment. Children might be able to choose where to sit, such as a restaurant-provided high chair or booster seat, your lap, or, for older children, a regular chair. When my children were young, I had a cloth “highchair” that could go over the back of most chairs and helped keep a child safe while sitting in a restaurant chair. Helping children learn that different places require different expectations of them is ideal. But, understandably, they are children, and offering something like “magic blocks” could make the trip out somewhere more successful and enjoyable for them and ultimately the adults.
Maybe that Dad I overheard will reconsider and take his children out to a restaurant again before they are 18!
Margaret Whitley 